^^

Im gonna be with my Darling tomorow!

This week is gonna go so fast. 

<3

3 days...

I havn't really felt like posting anything recently
Nothing much has happened

I'm feeling sad today.
Saturdays are usually my favourite day, I look forward to it all week, because it is the day when I get to talk to my Darling all night long. But he has gone to his friends house for the weekend. The whole weekend. And aparently he wont be able to come online at all. This makes me so sad, talking to him always makes my week worthwhile, and i miss him so much. It feels so strange and lonely not to have him here.
No worries though hes not going to H's house*    >_<
He's gone to another friends house, "Angry Friend" we call him xD I forget why he was angry. We call him that because when Darling first talked about him the guy was anoyed about something, so when ever he refered to him after that  he would say "you know, that friend of mine who was angry" and from then we just ended up calling him "Angry Friend" or "Angry Nub" haha
So he has gone to the Angy Friends house, and he will be "hardcore gaming" as he sais >_>
He must be very concentrated because i sent him a text half an hour ago and he hasnt answered lol
Im not freaking about that or anything, don't worry, I just mention it because it is strange in him.
I really wish i could speak with him.
I miss him so much
But , suprisingly, im not feeling as bad about not beig able to talk to him as i usually would
Because I know I will be able to talk with him in 3 days
face to face ^^
I cant wait.
I am going to be with my Darling again, even if its only for a few days
But untill I can see him and be with him close and safe, I will still feel so lonely, and empty.




*"H" is the inicial of the girl I spoke about in a previous post -here-.

Today I feel like this.

So lonely. . .

Doctors and Darling

-Doctors.
Ok. So I suffer form dizziness and backouts, and so I have been going to the doctors to see whats wrong with me.
Aparently Im fine.
Nothing the matter with me
At all
Whatever.
Well I know there is something wrong, there has to be, I cant be getting migranes, dizzy spells, blackouts etc and there be nothing wrong with me.
So I have an apointment on the 14th to the cardiologist.
How ironic
Im going to see the heart guy on valintines day
Whatever
So there gonna do some test to see if its related to my heart. I hope Im ok, i dont think its anything serious.
They checked my blood pressure, insuline and glucose levels,  Ive had xrays and hell knows what else and every test sais im fine
Maybe im just crazy and imagining it xD

-Darling.
In other news.. Darling is coming back ^^, I cant wait. He will be here in just 2 more weeks
I miss him so much
^^
Hes not staying for long, just 5 days, and then i have to wait till May to see him again...
And then its my turn to go and see him in the summer
Because I WILL make it
I WILL go

Long distance relationships are hard. But not impossible. It kills to say goodbye every time you have to leave ... and the jelousy... I get stupidly jelous of girls who see him smile, or see him walking in the street, I wish so badly that is was me seeing that smile...
And theres this girl
A girl he is so close with
who as been there for him when he has been feeling bad and thinking of death, form before he even met me
Shes been there all along
He loved her once
She is one of his best friends
And I hate her
I dont even know her and it is so unfair but the thought of her eats me up inside
not that id ever tell him that....
Everyime i see her name mentiond i feel sick to my stomach , like something is stabbing me.
Sometimes it is so hard for me to remember that its me he loves
not her
not anymore...
But its so hard
cos why would he choose me
She is so beautiful
Always happy
Always there.

Story...

I just read through the story I started to write about three years ago, baad writing, but the plot is good, so I have decided to try again. I am developing new characters and a new story around it and I think its going really well, though maybie I just think that because I`m getting caught up with it. It often happenes that I really get in to a project it seems brilliant but if i relax from it and leave it for a couple of days and go back to it i see its so bad xD I hope this is not the case.

Anyways.

So the reason for why this has come up is because i have been ill for the last three days and have had nothing to do exept throw up, so ive been looking through my laptop files and I found it  xD and i'm glad I did, I havn't been writing for ages, and i enjoy it alot, so I hope this goes well...

Back to writing ^^