Nightmare 2#

Last night I tossed and turned unable to relax

 and sufered a night of restless sleep riddled with nightmares... 

As I wreseled with the night to alow me to get some rest I managed to drift off in to a fitfull state of half conciousness

I was sitting in a train, not knowing where I was heading or how I got there

I looked around, the train was full of people

I remember an old woman looking out of the window, a mother holding her child , a student reading his book...

we enterd a tunel

 the lights started flickering on and off,

I found it comical how typicaly movie like that was and it made me want to laugh 

but that laughter died in me when i looked around....

Every time the light flikered on, the people all around me changed

they were no longer people, but a person . . .

every time the lights swiched on I saw a diferent face all around me, 

First it was my mother

everyone was her, in diferent times of her life

I saw her as a baby held by herself as an adult, I saw her looking out of the window as an old woman , as a student reading a book...

The light flickered again 

and my father surounded me, he ran past me, ten years old, I heard him shout 

"Danny get back here" 

He coughed, an old man, smoking, 

He cried as a baby

The lights went out 

Sara

my sister

she looked so old

and so young

just as I remember her from years ago

she was everywhere

The lights went out once more

and this time when they came back on 

there was my Darling 

sitting in front of me 

looking like he always does 

but then i lookied around 

and a hundred versions of his life looked back at me 

my Darling looking so young and sweet, 

My Darling , old, and dying ...

The train started to shudder , something was wrong....
It happened so fast.. one minite we were bursting out of the tunel into the night the next the train was crashing, roling, braking down, falling down and further down
And then it stopped
the train was wrecked
Metal and blood everywhere
I stood up with not a scrach on me while the train lay in pieces all around me
And then as I looked around I felt the scream build up inside me
but as it often happens in dreams not a sound escaped my lips
All I was left with was the ripping feeling deep in my chest
the white hot tearing feeling that fills you up when you know you've lost everything
because as I looked around
All I could see for miles were the bloody broken bodies of my mother, my father, my sister
my Darling....
 multiplied by hundreds
filling the mountain with their thousand faces
All the versions I had seen in the train of the people I love now lying scatterd and broken
And I was the only one left
The darkness started to thicken, finaly obscuring the devastation from view
or most of it
It all disapeard in the darkness exept for the form of my Darling
looking beautifull and just like the last time i had seen him
no wounds or anything
but he stared at me, and the emptines in his eyes.. I knew he was dead
And all I wanted was to die with him
I had nothing left. . .


I woke up gasping
, restles almost at the edge of my bed about to fall,

This dream lasted no longer than two hours and that is the most I slept all night
The rest of the night i lay frightened of sleeping
dozing of for minutes at a time untill it was time to wake
...