Nightmare . . .

Everything is so dark and cold . . .

I'm lying in my bed, shivering, knowing I have to get up for somthing

theres somthing I have to see....

I feel exhausted, my eyes ache so much

I have to get up

I dont know why but its so important

I manage to sit up and I gather my sheet around me trying to keep the cold from getting to me

but the room is so cold, I can hardly walk

like the room is full of ice

The cold reaches my bones and makes my whole body ache

All I want is to curl back in to bed and search for a little bit of warmth

But i know i have to get up

Shaking, barefoot I make my way across my room

The room is so dark... but i know this room so well

I get to the door but the door is all wrong

This is not my door

Its metal

Where am I ?

The handle is so cold it makes my fingers freeze but I manage to turn it and push the door open

I hope its wamer out here..

Behind the door, a long hallway

Just as cold but at least theres light

But so long . . .

I want to go back in to the dark room but I know I have to go somewhere

Still wraped in my blanket I make my way across the hall

But at every step I take the hall gets narower and narower. . .

untill the walls are brushing against my arms

I turn to go back

but right in front of me is a big solid wall

as if there was no hall behind me

and the only way I can go on is forward . . .

I carry on

Untill its so narow I cant breathe walking sideways

but everytime I turn back the wall is right behind me

and I know I have to go on

But Im so scared because the light is dimming and its so cold...

and the walls of the hall is squeezing the life out of me but there is still so much to walk

I know im going to die

because its so cold its killing me

I can hardly walk

I can hardly breathe

I feel my heartbeat srtuggle in my chest

and still the walls are crushing me . . .

Then I see the door

and I know this is the reason I had to get up

the door is warm under my fingers and I cant wait to get inside

I push the door and warmth comes out to meet me

Im saved I think

and I feel happy

And then I hear his voice...

my heart lifts and I think that nearly dying was worth it just to hear him laugh

but why is he laughing?

I look around

and at last I see him

so beautiful . . .

so perfect

I see his shirt on the floor by his feet

I see him lean over

and then I see her . . .

her top by his on the floor

and shes holding him

holding my darling

and they are so close.. their faces are so close . .

I know whats about to happen

and my soul rips open it hurts so much

I drop my sheet

slowly i walk back

and just as they kiss

I close the door

the cold hits me once more

it cripples me

but it hurts so much less than being in the warmth

And then I die.

I wake up gasping, and it takes me a while to remember that its only a dream... Its not true... It never happened...But I cant keep my heart from hammering in my chest so hard, and my breath caching in my throat...

And I feel so cold.