It sucks being ill ~

Today Im not well. So I stayed home. Despite having an important exam going on today.
But my head is banging and my throat is swolen and Im dizzy all the time so the exam can go to hell, im going to sleep.
I have work tonight, looking after this kid and helping him with his english homework for an hour. Ill have to text his mam and tell her I wont be able to make it. I feel a bit bad about it, because the mother is really nice, and she gets kinda lonely cos shes stuck in the house all day because she is so inmensely pregnant shes not allowed to get up and she enjoys having some company and the kids taken care off for an hour while her husband is still working. But whatever, i cant help feeling sick, and she does not want her kids to get ill so she cant complain-

I have a problem. Which is im getting very hungry. But not my mam or my sister are here, because mam is working and sara is at school. And i cant walk cos i fall down because of my dizzyness... Hmm
Im going to have to drag myself on the floor or something to get to the kitchen soon.


Oh no.. This man has just arrived here. Hes doing constructionn work on the bathroom. Now I cant drag myself to the kithchen. Damn.

Well Ill think of something. At least i dont have to go down any stairs or anything.

I am so Bored....

I have been listening to so much music i dont know what to listen to anymore,
Ive been writing untill i cant think of anything else to write.
Ive listened to some Soko thanks to Brenda
She very cool and random ^^
Ive chatted to my darling for some minutes during his breaks
But i dont know what to do now

It sucks being ill

Tinnitus..

Do You know what its like to have a song going through your mind on a loop so loud it makes you want to bang your head agains the wall untill you pass out just so as not to hear it? No matter how beautifull the song may be.

Ive had the piano instrumental version of "In The End" of Linking Park for the last 3 days getting louder and louder in my head. Ive wached movies, listened to loud music trying to drown it out but the minute the distraction ends its there even louder.
I love the song, but put the song on and crank it up to loudest in yor headset and listen to it over and over and over and over and over.  .  .


I hate it when this happens. My dad sais its probably the Tinnitus that makes this happen. My minds way of changing the sound in my mind that isnt that high pitched whining.
At least im kinda getting used to that noise though seeing as ive had it as long as i remember.
Its either get used to it or go crazy
It gets so unbearable.
But its not always very loud. Sometimes i can go quite a while with it just being low backgrownd noise wich is fine. But some times it flares up and i cant even think.
Mostly its that high pitched whining. But sometimes its songs that get stuck in my head that just increase in volume and i cant seem to stop it.. like this time.
Sometimes its even worse and its screaming, or loud whispers in my ear that i cant understand. That only happens after a particulaly bad nightmare or if i get really bad beacuse of something...

But mostly its just the whining.

Mind. . .

. . . sometimes i feel like I'm losing you.